Fear of Flying

Conversation overheard between two gate agents, Delta gate B-21

1>We need more wheelchairs.

2>No, I just had two brought up.

1>We need seven.

2>Seven?! I thought we only needed two.

1>We did. Now, we need seven more.

2>What is it, from Fort Myers?

1>No. . . .

2>Was it Richard flying? I’d understand if it were Richard flying.

1>No, it wasn’t Richard. It’s coming from Miami.

2>Either one, same result.

Ummmmmm, yeah.

More Karo Syrup For Everyone, Shemp!

Raimi Readies "Dead" Remake

By Josh Grossberg

Sam Raimi is resurrecting the Dead.

The Spider-Man helmer, who shot to fame scaring the bejesus out of moviegoers as the writer, director and producer of the 1981 cult horror classic The Evil Dead, has unveiled plans for a remake, Daily Variety reports.

Raimi will develop the new Dead installment through his Ghost House Pictures with an assist from the production company Senator International and the film's original producing partners, Rob Tapert and Bruce Campbell.

Campbell also played Ash, the beleaguered, badass hero chased by dark zombie forces in The Evil Dead and its sequels: 1987's equally gory Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn and 1992's Army of Darkness, which jettisoned the series' more stomach-churning chills in favor of slapstick.

The Evil Dead follows five friends who wind up at a cabin in the woods, where they find an archaeologist's taped translation of an ancient text known as the Necronomicon. When spoken aloud, the book unleashes an unspeakable evil from the forest that terrorizes the teens and turns them into flesh-eating demons. It's up to Ash to keep the dead dead.

The over-the-top violence, masterful camera work, and buckets of blood earned the low-budget feature a massive underground following and launched Raimi's career.

Because he's busy prepping Spider-Man 3, Raimi doesn't have plans to direct the new version.

"The Evil Dead is such a special film to Sam, Rob, Bruce and horror fans that we are going to take great care in renewing this franchise," Joe Drake, president of Senator International, told Variety. "By keeping its original formula intact and given audiences' appetite for horror, we expect that we'll have a real hit on our hands."

As part of the deal, Senator will put up the financing in exchange for worldwide rights to the picture and its executive producer, Nathan Kahane, will supervise production for the company. No word on whether Campbell will have a role in the update.

Meanwhile, Senator and Ghost House have also green-lighted a follow-up to The Grudge, now that the Sarah Michelle Gellar-starring horror flick has just crossed the $100 million mark in domestic box office after 27 days in release.

Serpent and the Rainbow

For anyone wanting to give the ultimate (as in FINAL) gift to Melissa, here's an idea:

A pensioner with a life-time fear of being buried alive has designed a coffin with an in-built alarm system.

Frenchman Angel Hays, 87, has suffered from taphephobia - the fear of being buried alive - since he was 20. He was involved in a traffic accident that left him so badly injured his family believed he was dead.

Now the octogenarian has built his own coffin that will ensure his survival if he is buried prematurely. It features an alarm system that can be heard from up to 500 metres away if there is the slightest movement within the coffin.

It also contains a water holder, food, a ventilation system and a mini bar with 87-year-old Hays' favourite tipple - Ouzo.

Link (Ananova)