Puerile Musings On Kentucky

I spent a wonderful and leisurely weekend up in Indiana. I got up there on Friday and returned late on Tuesday evening. My buddy Rich was driving, so I got to take in the countryside all the way up. Rich was bored with it, as he grew up in Indy, but it was all new to me. I got to enjoy seeing the mountains of Tennessee, the rolling hills of Kentucky, and the vast cornfields of Indiana.

The beauty was only marred occasionally by a few things that disturbed me on the most boyish level. When I think of the troubles in the last 20 years in Piedmont Park, driving through Kentucky makes them pale by comparison.

Consider the heart of limestone hill country. There is Mammoth Cave, which stretches for hundreds of miles under several states. We had just passed by Mammoth and Rich was explaining the basics to me as we encountered a roadside sign that made just both shoot milk out of our noses, metaphorically speaking. It simply read, "KY ACTION PARK." Considering all of the Kentucky jokes that are floating around out there, this was just the capstone on the pyramid, as it were.

Later on, we entered Louisville (pron. Lewavul). It's an attractive town with interesting architecture and a homey feel to it. Just before hitting the Ohio River, though, we came across another sign that was screaming to be sent in to National Lampoon. A small business on the left side of the road boldly declared, "Cox Smokers Outlet."

It this a freaking code, or did some gentleman just in from India not realize what it is that he's advertising? Ye gods, but we were chuckling! If I weren't just coming home from seeing Stacey, I would have been half-tempted to go in, just to see who was working behind the counter.