The Kerry/Edwards/McCain/Gephardt Ticket

What a strange and terrible irony it is that has settled upon the head and about the faces of John F(ing) Kerry. For three decades, the Poodle has been carefully painting his master work. It was only very recently, though, that his Frenchness realized that this master work was a kitchen floor and that he'd painted himself into a corner.

Since his astoundingly brave leadership in Vietnam - you DID know he was in Vietnam, didn't you? - he has aimed his entire career towards the Presidency. Never mind the fact that he has never help a private sector job in his life. Never mind that he has never lead a single passed legislative initiative in his career in the Senate. Through all of the twists and turns - there have been plenty of those - he has always kept his eye on the prize that can only be found in the Oval Office.

Monsieur le Souffle elected to accomplish this goal at the expense of his integrity. You will note, Faithful Reader, that I am giving him the benefit of the doubt and presuming that he had personal integrity in the first place.

John Kerry has developed a reputation as being the most liberal member of the Senate, outstripping others like Ted (Don't like my driving?) Kennedy. Whether by accident or by design, this was a brilliant course of action for him. By becoming the poster child for American Socialism, Kerry endeared himself to much of the media.

It's a strange phenomenon, and not one that I think the United States shares with many other nations. While the major media outlets of our country - television stations, newspapers, newsmagazines, etc. - tend to be owned by conservatives, they also tend to be staffed by staunch liberals. This raises the question that liberals generally tend to detest: did the owners become conservative with their money because they were wealthy, or did they become wealthy by being conservative with their spending? If you ever want to see a 25 year old, lemony-fresh, brand new reporter squirm, ask them to answer the question and then back up their answer with logic.

John Kerry embraced the liberal cause and the rise of American Socialism. The media, in turn, draped their armor over this new champion and sent him into battle with their blessings.

To be generous, it can be said that John Kerry is fair-minded. In fact, one might say that he has an uncanny knack for seeing any issue from multiple sides. To be less than generous, one could say that his convictions and moral standing are as stable as a weather vane. He began by announcing that he was proud of his service in Vietnam, then proclaimed that he is ashamed of what he claimed every American serviceman did in that country. He made a show of throwing away his medals, only to have them turn out not to have been HIS. Coming out in support of a strong national defense, he consistently voted against defense spending and wants our sovereign nation to only defend itself when a majority of other nations (UN) agrees to allow us to do so. While wearing his religion as a badge of honor, he openly supports laws that contradict his supposedly close-held beliefs. He pledged before God, family and witnesses to love, honor and cherish his wife. He then elected to have that marriage annulled by the Catholic church in order to marry another woman, declaring his children from that marriage to be illegitimate bastards. He took an oath to represent the citizens of his state in the Senate, but has shirked his duties in favor of going on the campaign trail, rather than resigning his post. The list goes on and on, and it is ended with the most recent and best-publicized example of his dual nature. He, John Kerry, voted for the war before he voted against it.

We all were recently informed of Senator Kerry's selection of North Carolina Senator John Edwards as his running mate. While both were vying for the Democratic Party nomination, Kerry had nothing good to say about this man. He criticized his age, his inexperience in politics and his previous profession. I don't claim to know exactly why John Kerry chose John Edwards as a running mate, though I have ideas. Knowing Kerry's past, though, raises an interesting question: HOW DID JOHN KERRY FEEL WHEN A CAMPAIGN ADVISOR TOLD HIM YESTERDAY THAT NO, HE CANNOT CHANGE HIS MIND ON WHO WILL BE HIS RUNNING MATE?

If I were John Edwards, I would feel like a new bride, wedded to a man whose previous seven spouses had all died of strange accidents.

This is going to be an interesting year, folks.